Who Needs Stacy & Clinton?

My sister-in-law Kristen and I were just lamenting the other day about the need for a make-over. I have dreamed many a daydream of being ambushed by Stacy & Clinton from TLC's "What Not To Wear" and being swept away to NYC for a week of shopping and appearance overhauling. Both Kristen and I just had a baby, which as wonderful as it is, leaves you feeling a little like dogmeat. After spending that first week looking pretty much only at Devyn's face I was in for a shock when I finally checked out the aftermath of my own appearance. Upon looking in the mirror I was greeted by heinous roots (I had an appointment to get them done on a Tuesday, Little Miss was born on Monday, which left me with a beautiful baby and the head of a frumpy, flat librarian hair!), a lumpy, dumpy body with love handles only a nice husband could love you in spite of (which mine does, whew!) and a wardrobe of maternity clothes to choose from that don't look quite as cute with the now deflated figure. However, they are your only option because you're still much too fluffy for real clothes, (you know, the kind that button and zip). Sigh. I could feel the the old familiar daydream coming back and as strong as ever! Stacy and Clinton, save me!

Fortunately for me, as I've mentioned in my last post, I just celebrated my 30th birthday less than two weeks after my bambina entered the scene. Wouldn't turning 30 in light of all the wreckage be depressing you may ask? Not if you got spoiled like I did! My Mom and Dad decided to do a little shopping for me. My Dad helped pick out (which I thought was way too cute!) this fabulous, new Dooney & Bourke handbag for me!See, it's plenty big enough to cover up those unlovable love handles until I can whittle them away! And it's this fun, sassy shade called Bordeaux! I like it because it's red, but not jump-up-and-slap-you, hooker red. Just the right amount of sass!

To add to the fun, my Mom & Dad told me to look inside where I was greeted with one of these little lovelies! A Macy's gift card with more than enough fun loaded onto it! Am I spoiled or what! To boot, my in-laws sent me some cash with explicit instructions not to spend it on anyone but myself! Hot-diggety-dog! So I'm thinking it's time to reschedule here pretty soon and get that nasty, librarian hair addressed! Who needs Stacy & Clinton to save me when I have such wonderful family spoiling me absolutely rotten! Thank you guys SO MUCH!!!

Time to Start...

Operation: Get My Body Back!!

Devyn is officially two weeks old today (where did the time go?!). I told myself I was going to give myself a couple weeks, then it was time to start minding my P's & Q's and reclaim my body. I gained between 45-50 lbs. with this pregnancy, which is the most I've ever gained while being pregnant (it was 35-40 with the other girls). And given the fact I just turned 30 on Saturday and have been nicely reminded of what the metabolism likes to do in ones 30's, I figured I'd better not procrastinate this much longer! I weighed myself this morning and now that Devy is out and my body is recovered, I am left with 30 lbs. to lose. Aye-yi-yi! Time to go dust off those pilates dvd's and keep on drivin' when the drive-thru calls my name. Operation: Get My Body Back begins NOW!

Beautiful Baby Girl

Late Monday evening on July 26, 2010 a new little person entered our world and our family. With much joy we announce the birth of our sweet baby girl, Devyn Ryan Young. My pregnancy with Devyn had been pretty uneventful up until a few weeks ago when some findings from an ultrasound alerted my midwife that Devyn may have been struggling to thrive in utero. It was decided that conditions were not yet unfavorable enough to justify an immediate delivery. That with a month left to go, any time for her to grow was good. A week later at a repeat ultrasound we found that conditions were still deteriorating, but not enough to justify an immediate delivery. My mind was constantly worrying, wondering if my baby was okay. The not knowing, not seeing her... it was really hard. Four days later they had me come back in for a non-stress test to watch her. Now there was a new problem, a very pronounced heart arrhythmia. They immediately did another ultrasound and saw sudden drastic drop in amniotic fluids and also could not detect her breathing on the ultrasound. My midwife immediately sent me to the hospital where I was induced. They monitored her closely during labor to make sure she was okay throughout the labor and didn't require an emergency c-section. After just about four and a half hours she was born.

Nothing could have prepared me for the love that immediately washed over me for this new little soul I was holding in my arms. She immediately breathed on her own and after EKGs and other tests it was determined that her arrhythmia, thankfully, is most likely going to be one that corrects itself.Devyn is such a little love and a beyond good baby. She does not cry really at all and loves sleeping. We were having a hard time getting her to get motivated to eat, but just last night she turned a corner and woke up on her own when she was ready to eat. Even then she doesn't cry. She just makes sweet baby noises to let you know she's awake. She really is just such a sweet, gentle, little soul. I marvel at her. Her sisters and Daddy are all in love with her too. The girls are all eager to get their chance at holding her or love to just sit and stare at her.

I have had an overwhelming sense of peace since she was born. Finding out we were pregnant when we did and so unexpectedly really shook Justin and I in our bearings. I struggled feeling like I could be a good mother to yet another child right now. But since she's come into my life, I have felt my love, motivation and patience multiply in a way I couldn't have mustered before looking into her tiny face. It has strengthened my testimony that Heavenly Father did not abandon us or heap more on us than we could handle. But rather, He has taught me that out of unexpected things and places in our lives, some of the richest and most beautiful blessings can flow. My life has already undeniably been richly blessed by having Devyn in it. I simply can't imagine this world without her tiny spirit in it.

Belly Shot

I realized that I have been so busy/distracted lately that I have no belly shots of this pregnancy! It wasn't raining out, so I grabbed my camera and Brynna and went out on the deck and had her document the belly. Here it is at 30 weeks! At the rate time is flying the next time I think to grab the camera our Little Miss just might be here!

How Very 'Young'!

My mom knew that simplistic, little me had been craving the perfect set of basic white dishes. I love food and for me personally when I look at a plate, I want the food to be the centerpiece. So when my mom pointed these out to me in the Deseret Book catalog I was smitten! They fulfill the very basic, white element I want but also inject some special meaning in a subtle way. The dinnerware has a Beehive on the top of the plate and it reminded me of when I went to Utah and toured Brigham Young's house. He used the Beehive to symbolize the importance of a strong work ethic. I loved touring that house, the Beehive House, seeing how they lived and imagining the lives that unfolded there. The best part though was seeing the Bronze bust of 'Uncle Brigham' when I was touring the Conference Center and looking at his forehead and laughing, realizing it is the EXACT SAME one as my husband's. It felt really special to be able to tangibly see and touch pieces of Justin's family's past and know that same blood that ran through the veins of the people in that home now runs through my girl's veins. It was pretty awesome.

Another reason I love the Beehive is because my mom calls my girls "The Busy Bees" because well...they never stop! They are constantly buzzing around in perpetual motion. So I loved the Beehive on there for that reason too, it reminded me of my girls. So imagine my absolute delight and giddiness when my mom came home from a trip to Boise with eight place settings of these wonderful dishes for me! I am so grateful and look forward to serving so many family dinners on these dishes. Here's to many memorable meals in the Young family! Thank you SO MUCH Mom! I love you!

I Needed This...

Lately I have felt a little off. Maybe it's been pregnancy hormones. Maybe it's because I'm out of my familiars. Maybe it's because I'm still working through the emotions of everything that has happened recently in my life with a big move and all that it entails. Whatever it is, I've been on edge. Not always, but more than usual, I feel scrappier than normal with my guard up. Something in my subconscious doesn't want to surrender to emotion and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I feel the need to be strong for everyone in my life. I'm a scrapper, I'm a fighter, I can do it, I can take it... until those days where you can't. Until those days where you want to stay in bed and tell the world to go away.

I've been struggling to figure out why it is we are in Oregon. I love, love, love having my parents near by and people have been very friendly and caring to me. But something is off. I get irritated at the weather or lack of things I loved in the South. I miss my friends and family and despite all the good around me, I've allowed myself to feel kind of isolated. I keep hoping that one day I'm going to wake up and everything will be the way it was. That I'll have all my dear friends and family around me, that I'll know where my life will be taking me beyond the next 18 months. That I will feel like the future is a great place to shoot towards, rather than a big, looming unknown. That I will have that feeling of contentment rather than dread.

I've also had a hard time as a mother. I love my kids with all my heart and would do anything for them. But I have felt the weight of motherhood on my shoulders. How can I do and be for all of them and be just what they all individually need? How can I listen to Brynna's questions and focus Maryn and peel Lauryn off the floor in one of her tantrums and clean house and make dinner AND get ready to do it all again with this little one? How? How, how, how?! I try to have faith that this pregnancy was part of the Lord's plan. Because neither Justin and I would have planned this right now in a million years. How can I do this? Please tell me because I don't want my kids to grow up feeling I was only there going through the motions. I want them to know that I do care about them and every little thing but the pieces of me are spread so thin.

Lately it seems everyone I meet loves to tell me that girls are SO much harder than boys. I've never had a boy, so I don't know. So please don't tell me that. Just let me live in ignorance of the fact that not everyone is dealing with a household of high energy, high drama, high emotion and strong personalities. What would it be like to have a child or children that listened or didn't question everything you say. Little people that were complacent and happy to float through life in blissful obedience to your every request. I DON'T KNOW!!! My mom told me "Your girls are a delight, but they are tough, each and every one of them." How am I supposed to do and be for all four of my sweet and very strong girls? (I'm sure #4 will be just as strong-willed as the others. They are all related to Justin and I, therefore through genetics alone they have no choice.)

My point is not to complain. My point is this video really helped me sort things out in my brain. My problems are nothing in comparison to what others face. If Stephanie Nielson can accept her new life and a new physical version of herself after trials I can only imagine entered her life and be grateful for it, then I can and need to break through the fog of whatever that has been holding me back and help me find that true, deep, radiating and contented joy in my life again.

I know what the answer is. I've been fighting it because I'm stubborn and hate admitting I can't do and be everything all on my own. But I need to turn it over to Christ and invite His help and comfort into my life. I loved the quote by Jeffrey R. Holland at the end of the clip. It reminded my that Heavenly Father is there for me through all the things I don't understand or can't do. He is there waiting for me...but I have to be willing to accept His help.

There is a quote from Boyd K. Packer that says "Prayer is your personal key to heaven. The lock is on your side of the veil." I'm tired of having my door locked. I'm tired of being stubborn and scrappy and trying to do it on my own for some unknown, ridiculous reason. I'm ready to unlock the lock and ask for help and understanding. I know I need to embrace my new life, including the things I don't understand and know that it is all in His hands. I just need to have faith and surrender.

It's A Girl!!!

I know, I know, it's been too long! We've been busy with many things, all of which I've been horrible about blogging about! But I just wanted to share the most exciting thing that's happened to us! We found out about a month ago our fourth sweet baby is a GIRL!!! This is a new ultrasound picture taken of her this last week and I was shocked at how much she looks like Maryn! I can't wait to kiss that face! We are still working on the perfect name just for her. But the proud Momma in me couldn't resist sharing a picture of my sweet, little Miss!